not exactly the toronto international film festival

When “Chris”:http://www.0xdeadbeef.com stayed over on Tuesday night, we indulged our shared love for bad movies. I get to slum, in a strictly cinematic sense, with Alasdair from time to time, but poor Chris has pretty much nobody in Boston who will join him in a steaming bowl of mediocre film.

On Tuesday, then, we rented both The Two Towers and Cradle 2 The Grave. Yes, of course, one of these things isn’t at all like the other, don’t belabour the obvious. When we got back to the house we decided that we should watch “C2tG”:http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/cradle2thegrave.html rather than TTT precisely because it was the worse movie, and that meant that Chris would never be able to see it back in Boston. The “music”:http://www.dapslyrics.com/song/x/XGonnaGiveItToYa.html had me pretty convinced, early on, that X was in fact going to give it to me, and I am disappointed to report that I did not notice if said giving actually took place. If you watch C2TG, and you have much more sensitive instruments than were available to Chris and myself, you may possibly detect trace elements of entertainment. I cannot recommend this movie.

Chris then went to take my wife off into the depths of Algonquin Park, but because he’d set me down the path of mediocre entertainment, I learned that I also cannot recommend the first 75 minutes of A Man Apart, which was at least darkly lit enough that I couldn’t always see the movie I should really never have rented. The rest of the movie might have been frigging fantastic, but I’m never going to find out.

I tried to watch Dark Blue, but fell asleep before the freaking DVD menu came up. I don’t think that I can conclusively correlate that to the quality of the movie itself.

Collateral Damage got two thumbs up, and I can only presume that they were awarded by Arthur Ebert and Samatha Roeper.

After those movies, The Fast and the Furious was pretty good. Michelle Rodriguez wasn’t as good as she was in Girlfight or even S.W.A.T., but she was still fun to watch. (I didn’t know she was in Blue Crush. Hmm.)

Oh, I also saw Once Upon a Time in Mexico and Matchstick Men this week, though that was in the actual out-of-the-house theatre. They were both fun. Johnny Depp uber alles, I tell ya.

one comment to “not exactly the toronto international film festival”

  1. entered 16 September 2003 @ 9:56 am

    If your hands should ever hover over the Blue Crush DVD, only hesitating because the brain is thinking “But with whom could I watch such a sham-filled film?”, please rest assured that you need only name me the time and the place, and I’ll be ready to endure by your side as we subject ourselves to endless shots of bikini clad Michelle Rodriguez and Kate Bosworth.

    I’m just that nice of a guy, I guess.